The First 20lbs

I'm fairly open about my weight. It's obvious enough that I'm physically a bit "bigger", so why hide the number? Unless you intend on playing a "Guess My Weight" game at a festival, it really doesn't matter.

When I started this diet back in the middle of February, I was about 274lbs. Now check it out:


See that little number there? Yeah, that's 253.

It WAS 249 a few days ago, but then Travis and I did a volunteer project where they fed us doughnuts and pizza. We decided it would be too rude for us not to accept their hospitality.

No regrets.

The one thing that I, literally, have been dreaming about is doughnuts. And it's not okay because even in my dreams I'm hiding them from Travis. He's not allowed to know, in my dreams, that I'm eating ALL of the doughnuts. It's to the point, in my dreams, that I'm stuffing doughnuts down my face so fast that I can't chew quick enough. Again, just to clarify, this is in my dreams. Unless sugar and calories in dreams count (then I'm screwed).

One dream, I was standing in a large choir room, there were choral risers (the cascading benches) in the corner where a class was taking place (we were in a church, but it wasn't church related???). Travis and Bill Murray were in the audience, but that was just random.

In the other far corner of the room the stage band from my current church were circled around and having a Bible Study. I was listening to a guy standing next to me, which happened to be one of my old high school friends from my old church. As I was listening to him, I was standing over a counter which held a coffeemaker, some random breakfast items, and a crap ton of doughnuts. I ate them all. I put them in my face, one after another, as I was half listening to my friend. Then one of the lead signers from the Bible Study group asked if I would close everyone in prayer. I did so with a mouth full of a frosted apple crisp deep-fried pastry.

I looked up an interpretation of praying while dreaming:

To dream that you are praying signifies respect, sincerity and humility. You are looking for help from a higher source. You need to relinquish your worries and let go of your old problems. More directly, the dream means that you need to pray more.- Dream Moods

You can take or leave the idea of dreams meaning anything, I'd personally rather some of my dreams have less meaning than others (should I tell you about the one where Harry and Marv from "Home Alone" were chasing me through a city and I got distracted by a parade? Nah.).

I think the overwhelming church theme in the dream meant something, though. At least that something is weighing heavily on my mind.

What Bill Murray meant, I know nothing

The point is, these doughnut dreams are a problem. And actually eating doughnuts in "real life" doesn't actually sate the craving. #firstworldproblems, am I right?

Nonetheless, I'm still really excited about the progress I've made so far. I've been a bit lackluster when it comes to inputting my food in MyFitnessPal recently, which needs to change because I'm obsessed with these Blue Diamond Almonds (my favorite is the Habanero BBQ *cough*ifyou'rethinkingaboutmeatthestore*cough*).